He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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