We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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