So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Terrible idea I love it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize