I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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