Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
