under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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