If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
