So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize