A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize