I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
