Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
