The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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