You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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