What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
