if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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