September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
