I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
