In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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