ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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