girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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