Jerry, you need to find god
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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