his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
