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• (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.

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• (818): View more from California

  I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me

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