I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
