If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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