Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize