I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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