You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
