It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
