i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
