Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
