make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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