is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
