he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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