No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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