I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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