is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
