...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
