I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
