So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
