You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
