don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it's like heaven, but drunker
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
