Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
