New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
