They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
we should paint friendship bongs
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
