Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize