You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
