I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
