distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
