Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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