nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
