My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
