i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
