I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize