these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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