I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
