a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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