I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dick very happy bro
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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