just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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