haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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