one two three fourrrrnication!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
