ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
