He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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