There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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