you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
