At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize