like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
