I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
