Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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